First,
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Second,
Here is an Advice:Be patient and listen
Let me tell you about the first time I really came.
You were patient and kind. You made me comfortable. Relaxed. Willing to be vulnerable. I fell in love with you. And then, all that made me confident. I told you exactly what to do.
The second I did, you listened, you followed instructions, and suddenly, on a Saturday afternoon during magic hour, the sunset filtered through wooden blinds, it felt just like that moment in a movie when the camera zooms into someone’s iris, and you see all the roygbivness of life in super speed motion, a crash of sounds, smash cuts to dancing, space travel, people f******, ending with an opera singer’s chandelier smashing high note.
Women - consider your own needs, as well as theirs
I have faked A LOT of orgasms. For so long, my self-esteem has been hanging not by a thread, but by a tiny tiny shaving of a fingernail from a nail file. I’ve wanted guys to like me so badly. I’ve needed their validation in place of my own... I’d made sex for the man and not for myself. I would be too ashamed to say, “Hey, this isn’t working for me,” because I would want them to think I was easy going and had had tons of experience. I’d be so concerned with their finishing that I’d ignore my own. I would be too frightened to admit I wasn’t sure I knew what I wanted.
It's not all about intercourse
For me, while actual intercourse is obviously awesome, I think that everything leading up to it is equally, if not more important. Listen closely because this will be incredibly helpful when you are lucky enough to get me into your/my bed.
Do:
Take the lead. I love it when a guy has initiative and makes me feel wanted. Make me feel like you can’t wait to take my clothes off. That’ll make me want to take my clothes off. (See how that works?)
Tease me. Take your time to really turn me on. My lips, ears, neck, inner thighs, lower stomach, etc. all need attention. The longer you go without jumping face first into my crotch, the better it will feel when you finally get down there. And it will make your job a lot easier.
Take your time to learn my body. What worked on your ex, might not work on me. We’re all very different, so unless you’re some sort of vagina wizard/genius, it’ll take a bit for you to learn how to make me come. That’s ok. Let’s just both agree that we’re not going to stress too much about it.
Believe me when I tell you it’s not going to happen tonight. Sometimes I’m just not going to come. It’s usually not your fault, it’s just the reality of the situation.
Don't:
Ask me if I’m going to come soon. If you do that, I’ll be in my head and start down the scary “you’re not enjoying yourself” spiral. We all know how that ends…
Get annoyed at me or yourself if I don’t come. That doesn’t help, and will not make next time any easier.
Think that just because I didn’t come, it was a waste/I didn’t enjoy it/you’re not a man. Maybe it didn’t happen this time, but there’s always tomorrow morning ;)


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